I've got 54 days to receive a miracle.

[AntoniaB]

You've got to read the book Codependent No More. I'm sure it's been suggested many times. Your letter is entirely codependent. You are addicted to her. That's the message of the letter.

It is likely that you have always been needy and addicted to her and it's out of control now that she's removed herself. She is your fix, and she has taken away your supply.

It is likely that OM is NOT this type of guy. This was the dynamic that happened in my sitch. The ONE THING that XH pointed to that made OW different from me was that "she doesn't NEED me to be happy the way you do....she has a very independent life and is a very independent person."

Sure this was his rationalization, but it was TRUE about me. He hit the nail on the head. This was my biggest problem in our marriage. My addiction to him.

Now bottom line, he had the same addiction to me.

So he has become addicted to OW now. Their relationship appears to be a reverse of ours, where the more codependent party is HIM. That's because he isn't learning from his mistakes of codependency.

Your wife is giving you a million indications that your addiction to her is driving her away, and likely it's driving her to someone who isn't so needy. OF COURSE she finds that attractive.

Until you can show her that your life doesn't depend on her, you have no chance at her ever seeing you as different.