Just discovered affair please help

[inpain]

All I can say IP is try not to let the anger or any emotion for that matter, dictate your words and actions. I know it's tough, but you must get "outside" the emotions when making decisions. Minimize the reasons for him to just give up and leave, If that is your goal.

That sounds like very good advice, thank you, I am trying really hard to not show my anger - it is very tough though, you're right.

BTW What is your goal (or goals)??

You know, I can't answer this I really don't know, it has been almost 6 weeks now since this kicked off and I really don't know what my goal is. I still don't know how I feel (other than angry) and I'm wondering if this is normal. I can hardly bare to look H in the eye if I catch him looking at me and when I look at him I feel nothing, no sadness, no love, just emptiness and I'm starting to worry that this is it this time - maybe he's hurt me that little bit too much and wiped my love out - or maybe this is still normal feelings this far into the sitch???? I'd love to know - anyone? - should I still be feeling love for him if I want it to work or is it likely to be clouded by pain and anger? When he left 5 years ago it was so much different - I was so devastated and determined we'd stay together and this time I just feel empty and lost

The DB formula is simple. Stop whatever moves you further away from that goal and note what things seem to bring it closer towards you.

God Bless
Pic.

this makes perfect sense - if only I knew what my goal is