Not too much to add since my last post. After having declared my need of "space" from my W, she has done very well in respecting it. I recently e-mailed her the filled-out Findings in Fact for our upcoming separation, so I imagine that I'll be seeing a signed copy in the mail sometime soon. I have not heard from her in a week, which is probably the longest I have gone without hearing her in any form...ever. Kind of strange that I picked up on that just now.
In terms of my DB-ing goals, right now is laying off thinking about my W. Instead of just "being" and allowing myself the space to grieve for what's happened, I feel that I've tried to distract myself with research in order to bypass that inevitable pain. While all of the research that I've done in infidelity has been immensely helpful, I now feel like I'm going over the same books and websites. It's no longer helping to gain insight -- now it's serving the purpose of keeping my W entrenched in my mind. I want to cut that out by doing other things instead. GAL, my friends, GAL!
Last night was a great example: I went out with a bunch of people at work to a restaurant to say goodbye to our mortgage officer (to recap, I work as a teller at a credit union). As fun as it was, I felt very down and uncomfortable at times throughout the meal. I was situated pretty far away from the people who I currently work with, so making small talk with people I didn't know seemed difficult. In addition, a couple of other people got into a big conversation about the perils of divorce. My old boss, who I was forced to divulge some of the details of my sitch so I could keep my job instead of quitting to move with my W, asked how I was doing. I told her about the upcoming S and said that I didn't really know what would happen yet. She is going through a divorce herself. Damn it, Michele's right! Divorce is way too present these days!
Anyway, just a quick update. I figure I'll go for a good night-time walk. I love walking at night.
