Do what I can but still have questions 3

[soccerwife]

H is seriously conflicted. We ML last night as a result of his pursuit. I think he had been drinking again.

So I came home from work yesterday and I just hugged him and cried. He hugged me back and asked what was wrong. I said that I had a rough day and I needed a hug from a friend. he sounded very concerned (he hasn't seen me emotional for several weeks) and said that when I was ready to talk, he would be there.

So, then I took a nap and then took the kids to Granddad's for dinner and swimming. We got home around 11pm and kids went straight to bed. I sat up and watched a couple shows on the couch w/H. We engaged in some small talk and then I went to bed without saying anything.

Around 3am he comes in our bedroom and sits on the floor next to me and says that he can't sleep and he would like to talk. He asks me again why I was so upset when I got home from work and I said that I had been doing a lot of thinking about the list he asked me for and it was difficult. I reiterated that I just needed a hug and I am sorry if it made him uncomfortable. I said I wasn't ready to talk about the list yet, but I could talk about some of the things that I thought of that day and he was receptive.

So, while the kids were swimming, I had read the entire 5 Love Languages and made the realization that I am a physical touch lover (duh) and H is a words of affirmation and quality time lover. I also realized that I had probably not been speaking his dialect in either. Further, I had never asked him if he felt loved by me, I always assumed that telling him I loved him was enough.

So, without letting him know that I got this all from a book I just read, I asked him if he felt loved, what I should do to make him feel loved, what things he does that make me feel loved, and one thing lead to another. I totally worked at bringing us a tad closer.

I still have many questions for him based on the book but I figured I wouldn't overwhelm him with it all at once, and spreading it out will make it look less like I read it somewhere. I have no doubt it will work a second time, hopefully in the near future.

I regained a good bit of hope last night. He said that he still isn't sure If D is what he wants, he doesn't want to hurt me and the kids, etc. And, my love tank went from a big fat zero to a 2.5 because not only did he say he loves me but we ML and then cuddled all night in our bed for the first times since May. he was his old self last night.