I am so grateful that you are responding to my situation. Thank you. I think if I can surrender the outcome more, I will have less of a visceral response. I want to let go more. I know it would be better for me, the family, H, and all involved. So hard to do. I am a little disappointed that I can't do better with letting go. My head is much father along than my heart.
The dilemma with my response to H now that we are separating.....
He has expressed that he wants us to be "good friends". He says, he envisions that even if we are divorced, we will spend time together and enjoy family time together etc. (makes me sick to my stomach) Feels all lovey dovey, a hip groovy "evolved" kind of relationship. This is not acceptable to me. I think he would like this arrangement because it would make him look good. So that the world around us would say, "oh well, it was a relationship that just wasn't meant to last forever, but look at what good friends they are." YUK!! I get the mirroring idea, but I think if I mirror him, he will think, yes, this is just how I thought it could be, really really friendly. Do you know what I mean?
When the LBS goes dark, does the WAS view this as fuel for why they left? I think in my mind going dark seems more negative than neutral. So I may need to do some more work with the going dark idea.
