so she wanted me to pretty much grab kids and go again tonight. this has been a theme for a while. different excuses usually. i said that was find, and for the most part did just that.
kids say things that cut without trying. i guess baby daddy was over to hang out with them a few times. i didnt ask to know, i kind of dont want to cause it just causes conflict, but when she doesnt tell me it goes back to feeling like she is hiding things.
i was not allowed to have a night out this week, her family thought i was pushing too hard for a night without kids and jumped to the conclusion that i was sleeping with someone. i guess its still to be expected, but before she lost the house i had 3 nights week without kids. so for that to be the reason why i cant go out now seems silly?
What? She sounds silly? Um reality check. YOU sound Like a 15 y/o boy. You are a FATHER to 3 kids. Not a part time uncle or a single dude. I know exactly 0 men with kids, who go out 3 nights a week.
I don't even know ANY married men with NO kids- who go out that much. It's about time you stayed home. Ever wonder why your w was lonely? Stop whining.
we parted on good terms, she seemed happy and we joked around a bit, i thought it was in good fun and she sounded like she was going to text me later.
no text yet. ah well. SIGH...stop the expectations.
got the kids in bed and playing around on the computer a little, making some cd's from my itunes so i can play some music tomorrow and work in the garage.
going to my families house for lunch dinner so that should be fun, and have the next 4 days off. i have nothing planned with my wife, and asked her if she would like to do something with me and she already started tossing excuses at me, so i kind of let it go. not as nicely as i wanted to, so im sure she thought i was mad about it &weren't you mad? You sound mad here. You "kind of let it go"...given your past, don't you think you ought to just -LET- IT- GO?
so all in all a good day. yeah bothered a bit by baby daddy being around, and never really making or wanting to do anything with me, but its getting easier to not worry about it. not perfect yet and things still hurt and sting, but for the most part im trying to act like she is gone at this point, which is sad. but of my own doing.
Keep doing your own work. When you focus your energy on what she is doing, or not doing or what you THINK she is doing or not doing...
you steal that energy from where it belongs, which is working on YOUR CHANGES... [color:#FF0000] Your consistent changes + time = Her believing in the changes. [/color]
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
