Totally confused

[alone]

Visiting kids and grandchildren in California. Wish that I could just forget about everything and be the fun loving person that I used to be. I do have fun and enjoy being with the family, but then at times I get sad and let my emotions of what has happened get a hold of me. Felt really depressed yesterday, found out the husband has a trip to Vegas in October for work. I do not trust him to be there by himself. I did check and there is a meeting there then. It is amazing to me that all of the years of my love and trust in him and can be wiped away in just a short few months. How do you ever trust in them again. He is in Chicago now for work and did not have a problem with that. I guess since Vegas is closer to San Diego where OW is that I feel that she may be going there. Even if he told me that she was not going to be there, I do not know if I would believe him.

How will I ever trust in him again? The circumstances that have happened have me questioning everything. I know that I need to take one day at a time and that we have made progress. I should be happy with that but happiness seems so faraway at this time.