Seattleman, I had one or two short threads before Piecing, but they didn't amount to much. I landed here in the early stages because deep down I knew H would come home, but that it would take a lot of work to get there and a lot of work after.
I don't think there are too many people in Piecing that aren't married to some serious conflict avoiders, and that's part of the cycle of what got a lot of our M's in trouble in the first place.
I know that the standard that most people use (right out of the DB book) is no pursuing, but the most important thing is to try some different things, monitor the progress and do more of what works!
In my case, I did have to do some pursuing and LOTS of R talks. The pursuing had to be done carefully, because if I came on too strong, he'd feel pressured, but no pursuing at all and he felt unwanted. I think Shiny had some similar dynamics in her R after the bomb. Sometimes, if our spouses walked because they felt rejected or unloved, it can definately take woo-ing and lots of reassurances.
Try some things that are romantic and personal (just a box of chocolates won't do). If she's indicating that she wanted (or still wants) to be pursued, think back to what you did to snag that woman in the first place. You know her and know how to touch her heart.
If she is receptive, step up the pace a little and be consistant about it. You're going to have to prove you are a changed man!
