An Apology from my MLC ex-wife

[MHL]

I've read that feelings of "guilt" are self-serving, and one never recovers if one is motivated by guilt alone; but feelings of remorse are motivated by true knowledge that one hurt another, and THEIR path to recovery of their identity/self is only going to come if they feel remorse.

I feel like there is remorse in what she said. Just my 2 cents.

Antonia,
Thanks I will probably respond in a fashion that you suggested.......it is the part about being open to talking about it if she wants to.

I am not sure I want to hear what she has to say if she did want to talk.

Your comment on remorse and guilt is interesting.....I was talking with another board member today and I recall reading something about the 4 stages/types of remorse somewhere in the archives.

As I remember it, it goes something like this.....

I am sorry I got caught.

I am sorry I caused you pain.

I am sorry I caused you pain and I feel bad about it.

I am sorry I caused you pain and I understand why you are hurt.



Not sure if that is right, if someone else knows what it is exactly, please post it.

I think my XW is somewhere between 2 and 3.

I think that is all she is capable of right now.

I think she still has time "in the oven" still.....she is not done yet.

Cheers