SA - sorry but this is classic MLC Replay behaviour.
Nothing is their responsibility, and they blame everyone and everything else. Blaming your daughter for his failure as a human being [let alone a father] is, sadly, par for the course.
He is defensive because deep down he knows he has, and is screwing up. But MLCers are fragile and cannot be wrong. Think 4 years old, plus the worst sort of immature teenage and you have it. 'It isn't fair, it wasn't me, you made me do it . . .' and so on. Very tough on your daughter and my heart goes out to her.
The important thing is that she understands it isn't about her, she isn't unlovable - just as we felt abadnoned and worthless, so do our kids. It is our task to help them to see their worth. If it diminishes her father this may, sadly be necessary, until she reaches a point at which she can fully understand the mental illness that is MLC. But right now her well being is paramount.
