Update: W left over a week ago. Have not heard from her since she arrived at her new house. Don't know if and when I will. Been spending the time cleaning the house and figuring out finances. Need to be on top of things for sure, particularly since I will be supporting two households for the foreseeable future.
Keep trying get out of the dumps, but keep sliding back in. Strained a leg muscle, so my physical GAL activities unfortunately slowed down. Keep trying to turn a corner and move forward, but can't quite seem to make it. Need to keep trying.
Feel like I am in perpetual limbo. Got to get it together.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
My wife is moving out next week and I am dreading it.
My friend gave me some good ideas last night for GAL. One that really struck me was his suggestion that I take cooking lessons at our Central Market. He said he goes about once a month and the classes are 95% cougars that will talk my ears off.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
I have been very motivated for GAL physical activity, and my leg muscle issue (tendonitis, I think) will have me out of commission for 1-2 weeks. Major bummer, as the activity was perfect for getting my mind off my sitch.
Back sliding is happening on and off. Need to stop it.
Am getting the feeling that W will not talk to me again. Those thoughts are not helpful, to be sure.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
W called last night for the first time in a week. I missed her call, then called her back. Kept the conversation light, with no R talk and only little business talk.
She is very comfortable in her new city and neighborhood. Likes her new rental home, and is looking forward to fixing it up. She has already started to apply for jobs. Said she needs to see if she is marketable within hers and related fields. Clearly looking to see how she can do on her own.
Says she is having ups and downs, and had to get off the phone after a while before she started to cry. Says she clearly needs time to sort things out, to clear her head and give herself time to heal.
No discussion whatsoever about her coming back anytime. I think this process is going to take a long time, and there is no way to know how it will end up. I remain in a supporting role, keeping the way paved smooth as they say.
Have to wonder what things will look like several months down the road. I know she needs time to clear her head, but undoubtedly worry that if she establishes a new home, job and friends, that our M and home will just fade into the background noise. Hard idea to get your brain wrapped around. Not a very happy thought.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Try not to look several months down the road, AC. So much can change just between right now and tomorrow.
Savor the moment you're in. Tomorrow and next month and next year will come soon enough; stressing over what might and what might not will just wear you out even more.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
Agreed. AC you can only control you. And the things you are worrying about are far into the future and they most likely won't happen the way you are imagining any way.
One day at a time my friend!
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
No discussion whatsoever about her coming back anytime. I think this process is going to take a long time, and there is no way to know how it will end up. I remain in a supporting role, keeping the way paved smooth as they say.
It is likely it's going to take a long time, and this is an important realization.I know in my situation, I was hoping my W would be sorely missing me after about, oh..4 days or so.
Originally Posted By: Telemark
Savor the moment you're in. Tomorrow and next month and next year will come soon enough; stressing over what might and what might not will just wear you out even more.
Seem to be in a funk. Not being able to do physical exercise is wearing on me, reducing GAL activities and leading to backsliding.
Going to start the week with a new and better attitude. I need to move forward. I cannot dwell on what my W is thinking and doing 1500 miles away......
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Hang in there AC. You will get better, and you will be able to do the physical exercise again. Is there anything you can do to GAL that doesn't involve exercise in the meantime?
