It's as Clear as Mud

[Jeannine]

That made me crumple up into a little ball, crying.

I've had to leave the room on more than one occasion when H said something so kind and loving, I instantly lost control.
For me it feels like an internal explosion at the center of my chest and it reverberates it's way to the surface turning everything in it's path to mush.

I am very happy and grateful for where we are now and it's confusing as hell to be so happy, and yet still have such painful memories come up.

As you already know, I am dealing with the same thing. Been doing a lot of weeping lately even though my H is being so very sweet and supportive.

He says that he will spend the rest of our lives doing just that and trying to repair the damage that he did by betraying me. He said it was very difficult and uncomfortable for him to talk about last year, but he can't stand to see how it affects me....

HOW VERY BEAUTIFUL.

Your post put a big smile on my face...even while I cried.
What a breakthrough.