I keep thinking back to something 25 said…OM and instant MIL under the same roof. From personal experience I can tell you W and MIL under the same roof in this culture is at best conflict waiting to happen. Add in your SS and the stress she must be going through over the rest of this……Well it isn’t a place I’d want to be.
From my perspective she has been and is allowing herself to be taken advantage of. Why would anyone intentionally place themselves in the middle of all that potential for drama? Answering would require speculation so don’t feel you should.
IDK if this fits, but I’ll try and relate an aspect of the R STBX and I had.
STBX is a Nurse. For her I think it is a calling. She is a caretaker. It makes her a very effective Nurse and she derives quiet a bit of self-worth and satisfaction from taking care of people. So much so she seeks out “projects” to rescue. Eventually she becomes overwhelmed, amps up the drama, and looks to others for rescue and support. It is not healthy. In my opinion she becomes dependant with her projects. She doesn’t set boundaries there.
Again, IDK if it fits. Where I am now, understanding what I do, I would not have stepped in, as you did not either. Though from years of conditioning I would have been tempted and a knee jerk response would have started to go there.
I agree you did well. I also agree this will escalate. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. It’ll fall somewhere in between. Try and remain calm, confident and compassionate, while detached permitting her room to grow.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
