Do what I can but still have questions 3

[aeolianchaos]

I feel so selfish. I just have this feeling that he is MLC and/or depressed and I need to be his rock, ride this thing out, show him unconditional love, be there to support him no matter what he does to me. Even if he goes through w/D, I feel like I have to be kind, gracious, sincere, supportive

Kindness, graciousness, sincerity - these are all great things to do for your own karma. Know that in the long run you will be able to take pride in your actions and choices.

Supportiveness? I don't know if I would support things that are actions against my interests. I don't think Ghandi helped people hurt his followers.

I just hate him so much, but love him with all my heart

This is a very mature thing to recognize.

I am so afraid. This may turn me into a bitter, untrusting, jaded, unstable person who is incapable of love. I have seen it happen to stronger people than myself.

Only if you let yourself become that. You have a choice.

It could turn you into a more loving, more stable person who is capable of experiencing deeper connections than you can even think of right now. It could turn you into someone who knows more about the value of trust and compassion, and starts to appreciate people in a new way.