The Final Chapter

[Telemark]

Thanks, everyone. You all have been a huge part of my ability to deal with this.

It was hard to sleep last night; so much to process. The upcoming drink with the friend certainly took a back seat to W's phone call.

I heard despair in her voice. I knew she was starting to realize how many lives she has disrupted, and to what extend they have been disrupted. She is seeing the extent of the mess she has created up to now, but I don't think she is seeing the approaching train wreck once the OM and his disabled mother arrive.

I was tempted several times to say, "See? See? See?" as she talked, but it was so obvious that she was hurting, there was no way I was going to add to her misery.

I can't rescue her. I can't be there for her. I had hope, and was willing to wait her out, let her take the time and space she needed. All of that changed when she made the decision to pull OM fully into her life. During our conversation she asked if I hated her.

"My God, no." I replied. "I will always love you; that's just how it is. But I can't wait indefinitely hoping you will turn around. I cannot and will not share my wife with another man."

That's about as close as I came to criticizing her actions.

I will be kind and empathetic. I will pray hard for her to seek help and guidance in her own life. I will always love her as the woman I married, but not as the woman she has become. Someday I will be forgiving; but not today.

But I must move on. For me.