Sage: Yes, I DO say "let's go get sausage". And now I feel guilty complaining about this because he's great at the cuddling part.

Seattle: I'm up north of you. Thanks for your take, and I KNOW that he's told me many times that I have to be more specific about things. I have been pretty specific (I think) about this issue but either he just doesn't know what the heck I'm talking about, or isn't capable of what I'm asking. Maybe it's like the the MC asked him, "Talitsa brings up areas she sees as a problem in a very clear, sweet and non-confrontational way. If you don't hear her, she waits a while and tries again--turning up the volume. Why does she have to get to the point of blowing up before you recognize that something is a BIG DEAL to her?" H said he didn't know why.

I have tried to explain that ML is a lot more for me than a physical act--it's about intimacy. Afterwards, it's like all barriers are down and I would like to hear a little bit about how he feels. I would like to hear more than "love ya" or "that was good". He says he feels emotionally connected when we ML, but can't elaborate any further on that.

I will keep trying to deal with this by asking directly and specifically. (Loved the don't-pee-in-the-house scenario, LOL!). I have tried and tried to deny that this isn't a big deal--and that I should be grateful in so many other ways--but this just isn't going to go away.

You know what really confuses me is that I snooped and read some of the email correspondence he's had in the past with female friends. In at least two cases, I found things that he said about me and his feelings about me that I would have LOVED to have heard myself--but he would never do that. After the bomb--I remember telling him that he obviously was capable of emotional intimacy--just not with me!

Kevin: there have been times that I have started arguements just to arouse some kind of emotional passion out of him for this very reason--just like I was talking about on your thread. I'll try to find the "hungry lion" thing for you. Glad I could help--I know it does help to get a female perspective on some of that behavior so your not just standing there scratching your head and saying "WTF?"