Had a quiet day yesterday, didn't hear from my wife all day, no reason to really.
As I was driving home after work, she called me, it was about 1 of the kids, it was nothing really and didnt need to be said, as she was about to hang up, she asked if I was going to the AA meeting, I said I was, and she said call me afterwards.
So later I went to the meeting, I was very nervous, but once I was there it was great, I was very welcome, and they made me feel relaxed. I just listened to what people were saying, and it was clear to me this is what I needed, and it made me more determined to sort myself out.
When I came out I just wanted to be with my family, I called my wife, and said would she mind if I came and saw the kids for a little time, she was great and said no problem, I asked if she needed anything so I could use it as an excuse for just turning up at 9.30, so I took some bread.
The kids were really surprised to see me, but really happy, they were cuddling me and telling me they loved me, it was great just to be with them. She asked me how it went, and I said I'd call her later when the kids were not there, she agreed, so I stayed for a while then left.
I called her later and she wanted to know everything, what was said, how I felt, etc, really interested about it.
We spoke about me, and my determination to get over this, she then said, you have an illness, and I know you will sort it out. She then said that I was a loving, caring person, she truely knew that, and that drink had changed me over the last few years. She said I was very brave to be doing what I am, but she knew I would beat it.
We spoke somemore about the past, etc, then said bye.
This woman,still cares for me, and I love her with all my heart.
I told her that I wish I had sorted this a lot earlier and that we would have had a chance, but I think its possibly too late now, she never said anything to that.
I'm going to back off her, not call her and give her space, she makes all the calls to me, she knows I'm changing, and she likes the change, but she is still very hurt and probably very scared off even thinking of giving me a chance.
I love her and my family dearly, I'm not sure if I will get them back, but I know I will be a better person, and a person that they want to spend time with.
