Had a good time with the folks, ate a lot, drank some, and hung out and talked a bunch. Too bad they could only be in town for about 24 hours.
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It sounds like she's trying to establish a "new normal" for you guys - one of detached pleasantness - nothing wrong with that, just maybe not what you want.
Who knows? I don't want to try and spend that much time figuring out what her game is at this point. I doubt she fully knows, herself. I'm liable to drive myself nuts trying to guess what she is thinking w/ so little communication.
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Again, you might want to look at what R you plan to have with her now - are you still going to be someone she can talk to? A friend?
I can't predict the future, but there is really no reason at this point for me to sustain a friendship with her post D. She has certainly not acted in any way like a friend who I would wish to maintain a relationship with. She is welcome to attempt to change that, but being propitiative rather than actually ever addressing the $h!t that went down isn't going to be the path to that, for me at least.
I gotta find something to do for a few hours to have some fun. Maybe fold laundry.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
Not a lot of change here in terms of the sitch. W is out of the country at this point, so n/c is probably the default state of things. That's fine. I really don't struggle with this anymore. Just some light urges here and there.
Been going to yoga more often - I find that if I don't go, I notice it a lot. Enjoying the whole somatic experience of it. Some of those poses hurt me in a way that my WAW could never ever try to.
Had a great meeting w/ someone @ the company I want to be working for. It was the 2nd time in my life I've ever done that kind of thing, so I was proud of myself for doing it, and I felt like it went very well. Its nice to talk to people and not feel like you have to break through their shields of narcissism to actually communicate. Hopefully my followup note will lead to a couple more connections and more info. about the gig.
Birthday was fun but a little dull. Parents brought up a nice bottle of single malt so I'm enjoying that - responsibly, of course.
GAL this week has been good - went bowling yesterday with friends and met some new people. I have been meditating more lately because I picked up a book on mindfulness and it gave me some new insights. I actually fell asleep the other night while meditating and woke up at 3am. First time that's ever happened to me.
Some stuff has come in the mail for WAW. Not really sure what to do with it, with her being out of the country and all. She mentioned that she was having her mail forwarded to her parents since she doesn't have a place here until she gets back. I guess I can just throw it all in a flat rate box and send it along to them. I should probably give them a heads up, though, which means contact with them. I have no clue what they think about any of this stuff - haven't actually spoken w/ them since last thanksgiving. I guess ought to script that -
"Hi WAW PARENTS,
I am going to send some mail and other items to you, since WAW is out of the country. Some of the mail seems like it might be time sensitive, but I'll leave it up to your discretion how to deal with it.
Hope you're well, ME"
That work?
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
As far as your plan on the mail. Any motive? Seriously?
Sure.. I don't want to be responsible for her overdue bills! She is out of country till mid-sept, so some of it may need to be addressed before then. And its less cr@p I need to have around here.
I don't really expect anything to come of it. Maybe the e-mail is overkill. They travel a lot (weekly), so a heads-up might a good courtesy. I could just mail it anonymously I guess?
I have been fondly recalling some good moments w/ them over the past couple of days, but that's been more in terms of seeing them from a balanced perspective. I don't think there is any real benefit to sending them their daughter's bills and other random mail. I guess the opportunity to be pleasant in an e-mail?
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
As far as your plan on the mail. Any motive? Seriously?
Sure.. I don't want to be responsible for her overdue bills! She is out of country till mid-sept, so some of it may need to be addressed before then. And its less cr@p I need to have around here.
I don't really expect anything to come of it. Maybe the e-mail is overkill. They travel a lot (weekly), so a heads-up might a good courtesy. I could just mail it anonymously I guess?
I have been fondly recalling some good moments w/ them over the past couple of days, but that's been more in terms of seeing them from a balanced perspective. I don't think there is any real benefit to sending them their daughter's bills and other random mail. I guess the opportunity to be pleasant in an e-mail?
Why is it their responsibility?
It's hers.
Leave it where it is. She can deal with it when she gets back.
I try to never tell people to do. Or not to do something. Because I. 1. Do not really know you. 2. Am probably wrong. shocked
I think they are good questions, and I'm glad that you're asking them. I do need to check myself - there are always those motivations that are so low in the 'mix' that it isn't immediately obvious to me why I'm doing what I'm doing.
The bills are hers - from her IC office, I believe.
A lot of it is other 'stuff' that I meant to have her get before she left, but I was enjoying NC and ended up not having her get it.
So no credit risk for me, that I'm aware of.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
