It's as Clear as Mud

[sage]

Hey Tal -- No 2x4s from me! I can relate to both of the items that you brought up.

Re. emotional connection after intimacy...h and I definitely seem to have differing needs in this area. I could loll around cuddling forever but he has tended to be pretty restless. How have I handled it? Well...when his eyes glaze over with a desire for sausage, I say "That's a great idea, let's go get some". (OK, not word for word since I tend not to eat too much sausage...but my point is that I've definitely focused more on his need for sausage than my need for cuddling).

the result? Well, at first we just went along and got some sausage. Then gradually he'd say "Hey, is it ok with you that we just switched gears so fast?" which would give me an oportunity to say something like "Well...I also love cuddling but am I someplace with you? That's darned good!". Finally...lately (and this is VERY recently)...my h has taken more time both before and after to slow down and cuddle.

I dunno...what's your reaction when he talks about sausage?

As for the email stuff...well...I don't have any advice since it's actually currently weighing on MY mind. h and ow seemed to have a very active email r. h ebbs and flows re. responding to me in emails...he'll go for weeks or months when he's real good about it and then for weeks when all I get is "I got your email today".

I try to send them w/o expectation. For example, I send h a "welcome to school" email each night he's at school. I almost stopped doing it because he rarely responded but towards the middle of december he would email back and say "I love getting these from you".

I'm babbling!!!!

LONG version...I'm not sure what to suggest!

Sage (big help, huh?)