Well, I'm feeling a bit more like a Cubic Z than a gem today. I guess I just need to do some venting.
I'm feeling like we are drifting back to some of the same-old-same-old in regard to communication. We can talk about anything and everything easily...except for anything to do with our R. Especially the sore spots. Ugh.
One thing that we have discussed several times in the past is a tangible feeling of lack of emotional intimacy when we ML. Now I understand that DURING might not be the best time--but yeah--I would definately like SOME pillow talk before/after...ever? Hell, I wouldn't even mind if he woke me up at 3AM out of a sound sleep.
The last time the issue came up--he said "guys don't want to talk after". Ok, well that only seems to involved not talking about anything sweet or emotional, cuz he does a good job on other subjects.
Is it just me? Would anyone else be bothered? I mean, if you had just had passionate sex with your spouse and 5 minutes later, they are going on and on about something to do with work--or what was gonna be on TV that night...would that be annoying?
The last time we ML, I noticed afterward that he has a slight frown on his face and ask what's wrong. He says, "I'm thinking about sausage. I'm really hungry for some sausage."
My God, Homer Simpson could do better than that, enit? Basking in the afterglow and wishing for sausage? Oooookay!
I have tried showing by example...using romantic verbal affirmations and terms of endearment. He seems to really like that--but his response in return involves some sort of pleased grunting sound.
Even off the subject of communication in the bedroom, I have tried several times to initiate some e-mail conversations with him. I told him that I thought it seemed like sometimes it was easier to express ourselves in writing...I didn't get into anything heavy in the conversation (even passed on a few jokes that someone had sent to me).
No response from him other than "I got your email today". This is a guy who was for several years having regular email correspondance with several ff's that were quite emotionally intimate. I mean, he used to look up their horoscopes and send them. They would be telling each other all kinds of private stuff. With me--nothing!
I know that you guys are probably going to give me some deserved 2x4's about unrealistic expectations and I probably deserve that. This all probably has something to do with my own LL's and why I am seeing many other ways that he shows love, but still feel like I've got an empty tank.
Sometimes I get so frustrated with his boneheadedness
