Every time i wanted to make contact with XH, i would stop myself and ask those two questions :
Do i really need him to be involved in this? What will i gain from this?
The answers are always the same. What would yours be?
GF,
this is one of those situations in which the answer is SIMPLE...but tough. it is not complicated (See above^^^ post)
Here are some other questions to aid you in getting clarity.
Why are you attending the meeting if your L already knows what you want?
If you cannot handle going, then don't go. If you CAN handle it, then go.
(If you need meds to get through it AND want to go, do that.)
For ME, I would not go unless I KNEW I'd look and feel just fine, thank you.
I would not go unless I knew I'd be holding my head high and not "losing it".
Either way, you know you must have things finalized b/c you are not alright financially. You have to protect yourself and your child.
As I undertand it you will be better off financially and wth, maybe he'll snap out of it when reality sets in. Your only choice now is whether to go or not. See the above comments and decide.
I don't believe your presence will be THE reason for him to cave in or relent or to grant your wish...even if he pretends it is. That's silly. And weird.
Don't engage in the craziness and manipulations -- "Oh, I have to go to the settlement session b/c if I don't, THEN h will not give me what I'm enttiled to...blah blah blah".
Do you really believe that? (I don't.] His choices are his and his only. And your h is not the judge, btw.
H filed for divorce, so with or without tears, that is what HE did. He has not reversed it or indicated any intention to do so. He lives with OW. He has no contact with you or his own child.... Time to end the fake limbo. (I say "fake limbo" b/c there isn't really a lack of clarity here. There is no "limbo" except financially).
For whatever weird reasons, Your h does not want to do the work to be m to you now. He does not want to be a decent dad right now either.
Maybe later he will. Maybe much later. Maybe never. We don't know. All you can do is protect yourself and your kids. Deal with what IS and not what you wish for or are still mourning.
Decide about the meeting. Go or don't. If you go, then Let your L talk and look your best. Take a chill pill if you need to. (Many people would.)
That's my .02
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
