It's as Clear as Mud

[sage]

I was full of resentments and was sure that Wolfie didn't love me any more. He felt the same way. I had tried for a long time to talk to him, to start communicating, to tell him that I was worried about our R, and didn't want to lose him. I was rebuffed for a long time, but slowly things had changed to the point where everything I said or did ticked him off and was interpreted as controlling. I had finally given up on trying and saw an enevitable path that I was being led down (unwillingly).

I can so relate to this post, Talitsa....one of the responses h has given to the "how could you have an a" question was "You were so angry all the time. I thought our m. was already over." and, he was right...I WAS angry...about him and my life and my m...and then eventually about the WAY he was reacting to my attempts to "fix" our m and then eventually about his denial about his a and then....the day I found proof positive of h's a, I had just come back from a C session during which C and I continued our discussion on whether or not I wanted to stay in the current incarnation of my m.

Sigh. So the lines ARE blurred between LBS/WAS for sure in many ways...the STYLE of indicating disatisfaction was just different, I suppose.

I have to admit that some of the things that h said during our weekend R talk blipped me back into the circular frenzy for a bit...in some way (an ASSUmption?) it seems as though he's still not "sure" but then wonders whether or not I'll ever fully heal and no longer be sad about "this"? I suppose it's far too pat and easy for me to want to say "maybe if you were more SURE, I'd be healing faster, bucko"....or maybe he'd be more SURE if he felt more certain that I could fully heal....



Sage