Some things that CHL was saying about how it feels to be a WAS have been running through my head.
I know you and I have had this discussion before....but this time last year, I was truly in WAS mode. I was so tired of Wolfie's distance, immature behavior and irresponsibility that I was turning stone-cold to him. I remember several times right before the bomb that I thought about telling him that he was obviously unhappy and that he should just go because it was clear that he didn't want to be with me anymore.
I was full of resentments and was sure that Wolfie didn't love me any more. He felt the same way. I had tried for a long time to talk to him, to start communicating, to tell him that I was worried about our R, and didn't want to lose him. I was rebuffed for a long time, but slowly things had changed to the point where everything I said or did ticked him off and was interpreted as controlling. I had finally given up on trying and saw an enevitable path that I was being led down (unwillingly).
So...it really isn't so simple as LBS vs. WAS. It's not that black and white. It was just the butterfly principal working in reverse, spiraling us down into negative reactions to each other. If I had it all to do over again...I wouldn't have let things go so long without a blow-up that obviously needed to happen to get us back on track. There are a few other things that I wish I could have done differently.
Basically all I am saying is that I was nearly as much in WAS mode as he was so I do understand those feelings. It took both of us to get where we were, and it has taken both of us to get where we are now.
