on the whole, I see progess in you mostly (IDK your w)...but dang, SHE said she's "thinking" about your question.
Can we give a tiny little round of applause for that? That's frickin' huge for her.
But I hear you about your new life being a lot more peaceful than going backwards.
But you might well be able to have a NEW M with her. How?
You have the cultural advantage (or disadvantage?) of stigma w/divorce. She actually does feel pressure to work on things with you.
What if her reasons for reconciling are not what you'd like BUT she does the work?
Why does it matter why she returns IF she is willing to attend real MC and or Retrovaille? I'm just asking. I don't have a specific answer. Just want to toss that out.
BTW, you have made remarkable changes Myk. You are a changed man even if you backslide a bit with her. When your interactions with her are calmer at your end, when you don't allow yourself to "re-attach/reengage" with the old stuff
you'll feel so much better.
You may need to make that mantra about "From this day forward", hers...meaning, she will have to let go of her scorecard soon if there's any chance or reconciling. You already have but you could tell her you "will" and hope she will too.
Just super unhelpful.
Finally, IF you were to reconcile, how would YOU be different now?
If you can articulate this, specifically, it will give you vision and clarity of what your goals are and might get her to start thinking along those lines...as in
how would SHE be different?
We on DB know it takes two to make it work but it only takes one to get things started. Since you are here posting, and not her, that "one", has to be you.
Your changes are being noticed! She doesn't trust them yet, but a part of her wants to. IMO, she'd love to believe things could be better for you and her and d. (Not sure of all the reasons why, but it's what my gut tells me.)
Imagine if she felt safe with you, more secure, had more of a partner. If she believed all the changes you have made will last.
I think that's when she'd feel safe enough to make some of her own changes. Make sense?
Good luck Myk, even if you don't reconcile, I think this is great news.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
