Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with him, or do I just want to "be" married to him while our kids are growing up? Do I still love my husband? So many things that have happened have caused me to lose great respect for him, as well as trust in him. I still like and love many things about him, but is that enough? His relationship with my family has been destroyed (I do not think they will ever "accept" him again); how will this play out over a lifetime together? Am I just too afraid to be divorced, too afraid to be on my own?
I too struggled with these very same questions for a long while. Over time the fear of being divorced and alone dissipated and whatever the outcome was going to be I've accepted. I would much rather live the life as a single Dad then to continue living with this new version of my W.
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We have four kids together, and therefore are in contact on a regular basis to coordinate activities, etc. I see him everyday, as he drives two of the kids to school and I drive the other two. How do I move on and detach from him when he is part of my every day? It's like we are still married, just live in different homes. Is any of this typing-out-loud making sense?
This makes complete sense to me. When we get married and have kids our lives are intertwined forever regardless of what happens to our M's. I think it is beneficial for children to see both parents get along and both be involved in their daily lives. It isn't their fault that their parents can't get along. Since this situation started I have always taken the high road when it comes to my kids and I have become the more stable parent while she continues her downward spiral.
Even though my W and I are not yet physically separated yet I have successfully dropped the rope and detached from her. It wasn't easy and it took a lot of hard work. What I did realize is that when we are no longer living together it will be much easier for me to move on.
There is a difference between knowing the path & walking the path. – Morpheus
