I am no longer a stander but i am NOT A LOOSER. I came to realize that NC is in fact a blessing to me. It gives me a chance to get my strenght back and put my head back where it belongs. The man i fell in love with is no longer. I get glimpse of him but that is not enough for me. He will never return, he will be changed forever. He will not be the love of my life even if he comes back home. I am coming to term with that.
I, like you, wish him peace and happiness but without me. I am responsible for my own peace and happiness and keeping ties with his drama is interfering.
I read your entire post and i like your journaling. We, the LBS seem to follow a script just like the MLC but, believe it or not, ours sounds healthier. Our SANITY is the key to get through this.
You're doing great. Keep posting, i'll keep reading. God bless...
