The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

[LearningPatience]

LP, we have the freedom to choose the positive or negative with any given situation. You might as well choose the positive.

I had a great example of this Tuesday. Got a three word text from W out of the blue: Whats your address?
My first thought was why does she need this? What could she be sending me? Then I remembered that S14's birthday is Saturday, so maybe she's sending a card. That may not be it, but that will be my assumption for now.

I've been in a decent mood, but still sleeping poorly. I'm realizing that I'm becoming un-detached and that I'm trying (hoping) to speed up a moving glacier.

Met a bunch of friends at a bar last night, including W. Sat next to her and we talked a fair bit. W also talked to her bff sitting on the other side of her a lot. They compared trips they'd like to take and/or have planned (I swear W has more of a GAL than me!). Every so often, W would turn and say things like 'that's just like this one trip we took' or 'remember when we did that?' She mentioned lots of good memories, which in some ways was bittersweet, in that she's making lots of plans without me.

One odd thing is that it sounds like we have Thanksgiving plans together. W asked if I was going to her uncle's wedding on Thanksgiving. Told her MIL reminded me of it and that I'd like to. W then asked if I was bringing the boys, told her no, W then jokes that she was going then. Talked about a few logistical things with MIL and driving, W doesn't know what's going on. Forgot to mention... uncle lives 10 hour drive away near Philly. We'll have to see how that progresses.

So, W and I enjoyed each others company and left at the same time. I walked home and decided to text W:

M: Did you see the thunderstorm to the south as you left? Pretty cool!
W: It was very cool. I dont think I said goodbye... So goodbye
M: goodbye is so formal bye!
W: Heehee bye

So, we *can* have random little convos, but usually don't. I have tested the waters a couple of times and generally W hasn't responded to the emails or had short answers, so I've stopped doing that (well, except for this last one).

Now, here's where you each get out your 2x4s! Decided to text W's bff:
M: BTW, if it wasn't completely obvious, I'm still not over W It was great to see you tonight!
bff: Good to see you too. Have fun on your trip next week!
M: Of course! Let me know if you need anything from Colorado.

Anyhow, I know I'm backsliding a bit. I'm trying to find a balance between letting W 'chase' me, letting her know I'm 'safe' to talk to, keeping the road home smooth and paved and making sure that I take care of myself first. In many ways, it was easier when I went dark on her.