It's as Clear as Mud

[Zoo]

Oh my Tal...call it coincidense or intuition...whatever, there is a GREAT irony that I just HAPPENED to read your thread today.

I don't talk about this too often...normally not until I'm compelled to in some way but there is an open acceptance here so maybe folks won't think I'm a total loon after all Maybe it is meant for me to talk about it as well considering how much it has been in the front of my mind lately.

I too have certain "gifts". I have always had them although it seems that as I have gotten older some of them have decreased in strength while others have increased. Oddly enough I have never been ridiculed for them although some people have been totally freaked out when they have manifested...they expect some kind of parlor trick I guess when the reality is something altogether different.

I also strongly believe that these gifts come from my Native American heritage. My maternal great grandfather was a medicine man and the family has always talked openly about his abilities to heal and commune with the spirit world. Oddly, the gifts he may have passed on have never manifested itself in another male in the family but many of the women in my family possess them to some degree. Some see auras, many have "dreams", some just pick up the phone before it rings. From our various conversations about the subject though none seem to have them to the degree I do.

Personally, I wish I had only one...I was even relieved to an extent when it seemed as if my illness might have made them all go away. It seems as though I just suffered from "overload" though and it took a while for me to recover from it.

It was my gifts that clued me in to H's A. You would have thought that they would have prevented him from attempting such a hurtful thing...I guess he thought they were gone for good though and saw safety in that. Yes, my H is fully aware of certain aspects of my gifts and has asked me to use them on occasion. It's the times when he hasn't asked me to use them that he isn't so appreciative of. Of course there are those that I have no control over either. I do think that they did help H tip more to my side when he was on the fence about getting a D or not. I told him that I had "looked" and I told him what I had "seen" and I let him draw his own conclusion.

Hmmm...this still isn't so easy to talk about. I'm being cryptic aren't I ?

These are my gifts. My strongest is empathy. I am not speaking about the normal form of empathy though...not the type where you can say "I've experienced a similar thing and I know how you feel". I actually FEEL other people's emotions, physical ailments etc. This empathic bond is strongest between H and I and with certain members of my family. It goes beyond feeling to actually "seeing" through their eyes. Can you imagine how that felt when H was having his A? I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I have precognitive dreams as well and can do some active predicting but it takes a great deal of effort. I can commune with the dead and can sense/see spirits but this isn't as strong as it was when I was younger. I've never minded talking to family members and such after they have passed but I also seem to attract some pretty malevolent beings...even thinking about some of those makes my skin crawl. I think my empathy leaves me open to experiencing a beings death as well or allows for them to "show" me what it was like. I don't like this at all but I have learned from it not to fear my own death.

My gifts have shown me that none of us are set on a certain path...we have many paths to choose from. A given prediction can be changed if the actions leading up to that prediction's outcome are changed. A prediction comes true if the course toward it is never deviated from. I can tell you Tal that your future holds/held a little boy in it...I'm leaning toward a child of your own rather then a grandchild (just the way it feels) BUT there are other possiblities there as well...if you choose to go another way (continued contraception, Wolfie gets a vasectomy (?)) then the child disappears. Ok, I don't know WHY I just said that but I think you get the gist of what I mean.

I'm going to post the horrible dream I had this weekend on my thread. Anyone with dream interpretive skills I hope can help me figure out HOW to change this one's course (yeah...it had THAT kind of feel to it) .

Sorry for rattling on Tal

Zoo