Just finished your thread...quite a turn of events...
Two thoughts leap to my mind. First, I am NOT "explaining" your w's position okay?
but I almost laughed when I envisioned her happy new life in a 2 bedroom condo WITH A NEW "MIL"....oh okay...and are these women are close to each other?? Tell me about that in 6 months.
OH, and how's SS really going to handle all the new stuff with new people? Bet they'll all have a blast "adjusting" to the one who does NOT adjust well.
And where is SS sleeping, and where is OM's mother sleeping? Is it like a permanent camp out?
I don't mean to make light of your pain my friend. But she's in a world of crazy if she thinks THIS set up will work out for anyone.
WTH is she thinking? I'd say be ready for her to wake up real soon...
her reaction to YOUR reaction is oddly, SO believable. Like they simply do NOT get it...
SHE cries b/c you are done b/c she is acting done...hello??
Yep, I know that feeling. When h went on his third secret mission trip to the FAR NORTH...after I said "if you ever do that crap again, I'm done..."
I filed for a sep to protect assets and possibly to wake him up and he went bonkers. Like I had wronged HIM!...
Secondly--(SIGH)...not to give you false hopes if you are feeling more detached in a good way,
but I don't think she's done. I think she's acting nutty. But not done. This living arrangement, PA or not, is like what my 14 y/o would come up with as a Solution to her best friends' potential foreclosure...."bf can just live with US"
I feel sorry for you but I feel sorrier for her
b/c you have no choice but to make the best of things. She's making terrible, silly choices that will NOT work out...AND
She has to 2nd guess her idiot choices forever, and every time something goes wrong, She'll have to look over her shoulder and wonder again.
But you won't b/c you have grown and evolved thru all this. She has avoided most of that.
You have nothing to look over your shoulders about, nothing to second guess b/c once you got the newsflash, you SHOWED UP for your m... she'll always have doubts.
Even if things go "well enough" for her, she'll wonder if your changes were lasting...and if they would have lasted with her too...and if she lost the best version of you, the man she wanted you to be all along. She'll always wonder...
if only she'd stuck around a bit longer, or really given herself and you, the space and time you both needed...
so while she will wonder about all the choices she has made and looks over her shoulders to question herself again,
you won't.
Hang in there. It gets better, I promise.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
