After my post yesterday morning, my wife and I spoke a lot during the day even though we are both at work.
It started with a call from her over something trivial, and then continued with calls from her over the course of the day.
She was asking about if I had arranged to attend an AA meeting, when I told her I had, she was pleased.
She then told me that she had attended a meeting herself when we were together to get some advice on me!!
I was totally taken back and had no idea, but she said that she loved me that much, and she wanted me to change that she tried everything, but what she did say was that she didnt do anything about it, or tell me in case it made the situation worse.
It really made me sad that I have lost a person who loved me that much.
Last night we had our, now daily, conversation about me, and the past.
Again she told me things about how she had felt during when we were together and I was drinking, she is still very hurt by what has happened.
I just promised to never hurt her again, and to be the best father my kids could ever have.
It was all very nice and caring, I know she still loves me deeply, I didnt ask if she did, but I told her that I had been an idiot, I had lost the love of my life, and I was determined to beat this.
I don't know if this marriage can be saved to be honest as there is a lot of hurt still there, but I will be the best personI can be in the future.
But it is nice to speak to my wife, and best friend, daily without arguing, and to be honest with my feelings and thoughts to her.
It is just so sad that 2 people that love each other so much have had this much pain through drink. I said this to her last night, she was very quiet, and said yes, it is very sad.
I love my wife and family so much, I hate myself for waht has happened.
