Why ask your H if you can go visit? Do the right thing and JUST GO. I agree with 25yrs, she did the right thing, I feel I did the right thing by my IL's, even though I was scared to death that they might reject me. But they did no such thing. Stop being so scared of everything. Heck, they can't eat you. You will know the right words to say to her when the moment comes. I don't think you would want to regret not going to see her for what might be the last time, especially if your S didn't get to see his grandmother. My stepfather passed away last summer, and luckily we went to see him just a couple of days before he died. Now, I was mistreated, along with my sisters by him, but I forgave him and told him thank you for raising us, and that I loved him. I have no regrets about that, and I know I would have had I, along with my H and S, not gone to see him. It's one thing to have resentment for someone, but when you see them lying helpless, dying, nothing matters but making it right. Rysmom, just go, don't ask permission, do it for your S, do it for her, do it for yourself. vc
