i am back to sleepless nights. I really hate this. Im thinking about everything and nothing all at the same time.
I will say that today, i forced myself to do some things around the house that i take pride in. I cut my yard and weeded the flower beds. Did all the edging and i rollerbladed around the pool table in the garage a whopping 4 times without falling.
My body is exhausted now, but damn it, it felt good to feel alive and useful again. My BIL is great and a big help, but its too much for one person, and my yard is my passion.
I cant stop trying to figure out what is going on inside of her. Its like i have stepped back in time to the begining all over again. I shouldnt do this, but i just cant seem to help it. She did call today to find out if the kids had soccer games this week, other than saturday. I told her when, and asked if that was it, she didnt say anything, so i said goodbye and hung up. wasnt nice, wasnt mean, just kind of indifferent.
