You cannot rush this. I know that you feel that you don't have much time. I understand that. But it seems to me that you at least have a few months.
If you try to rush it, you will inevitably pressure and pursue your W.
Have you read Divorce Remedy, specifically the chapter on the Last Resort Technique (LRT)?
I would apply LRT immediately.
Go relatively dark on your W... definitely do not initiate contact at all.
Do not initiate relationship talk under any circumstances. If she does, actively listen, listen and listen some more... and then validate.
Give your W space and time ... the hope here is that the space and time will allow her anger, frustration or whatever negative emotion she is feeling to subside...
Right now, when you are around, or when she is in contact with you, she is only being reminded of those negative emotions.
She needs time away from you completely.
Give this 4-6 weeks Cam.
During that time, you need to:
1) GAL
2) Go do some stuff that might pique your W's interest (new exciting hobby, new wardrobe, new hair style, etc) (For me, it was new wardrobe and new hair... as goofy as it sounds, W noticed the first time that she saw me after we had gone 4 or so weeks without seeing one another)
3) Really think about where you can improve yourself... what things did you do that you believe contributed the breakdown in your M... what things does your W not like about you? Do you agree with those things?
4) If your W contacts you during that this 4-6 weeks, be light, fun and cheerful... keep conversations short... be the one to end the conversation.
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I would seriously give the above strategy 4-6 weeks and then see where you are at.
I hate to disagree with your DB coach, but you simply can't rush this... You do have some time here.
Good luck!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
