Either W is covering her tracks more cautiously or the amount of contact with OM has decreased significantly, for whatever reason. However, last evening at home, I came across a man's wallet. Figuring I did not have enough time to examine its contents at that moment, I decided to wait. That second opportunity never presented itself, as W became protective of it. I know enough, but this would have provided essential information about OM. Darnit!

Her behavior has been described as a "cake eater", and that would be accurate. Obviously she is having it both ways -"enjoying" herself during the day, and by night relaxing in the comfort of her/our place as if nothing is afoul.

To answer 25yearsmlc:
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
I'm not clear on what your w would SAY the issues are in the m but that would help us know what your 180s should be.


In no particular order, and not necessarily all the issues, these are the known:
1) W disappointed with my earnings. Admittedly, they are lower than our peers and not nearly enough wiggle room between paychecks to squirrel away even the smallest amount of money. (By the way, I have a college degree but not remotely in the field of my business experience. She did not finish college, yet when she worked full-time, she earned circles around me).
2) As a result of the preceeding, we're unable to afford health insurance for her. My work covers me, but to cover her would severely put us in the hole. That frustrates me, too.
3) She is disappointed by my inability to make friends of my own. Her friends are her coworkers, or those she meets as a result of work, or those with whom she went to highschool. I have connections, just not in our age bracket or the type with which we/I could socialize. My highschool/college buddies are literally a thousand miles across the country.
4) She say's we're way too different. I'm religious; she's not. I wanted children of our own; she's content with her college aged daughter we didn't raise. I'm conservative; she's liberal. These differences were never problematic before. I'm sure there are other issues which she probably didn't share with me.

Yes, I have been ramping up efforts to find a better paying job. In this economy, it hasn't been easy. But, at this point, I'm not sure if landing a better paying job will make a positive, if any impact on our marriage. (Not trying to see negatively, but let's say she really doesn't want to stay married to me - regardless of earnings - do I really want to risk my career by job hopping and remain in an area where I have no family/friends/support system)?