Yeah, I guess I should lighten up and celebrate the progress I am making. I don't mean to shortchange that, especially when I myself have been out of any sexual contact not too long ago. Don't mean to minimize the importance of what we do have going.
What is important, though, is the fact that having a little sex has freed up my mind to think about other goals. Up until recently, when I thought about goals I wanted in my M, the list looked sort of like this:
Have more sex Have more sex Have more sex Have more sex Have more sex...
You get the idea.
I was actually kind of worried that I was incapable of caring about anything else - certainly that was what W often felt about me. I worried that she was right. Was I really that shallow?
So, when some sex started happening, it opened up all these other ideas in my mind as to what a better marriage would look like. In that way, my suddenly realizing that there were other things I wanted in M was actually something in itself to celebrate. It enables me to DB better, because now I have more to think about in terms of goals (you have to admit, if my DBing was focused on the sole goal of having more sex, my changes might not appeal much to W ).
But thank you for reminding me that what has already happened is huge progress.
Think about it...if you met a potential mate who was nothing but a bundle of needs, would YOU be attracted to them?
). 
