After pondering the things I wrote above, I think it is possible to some extent to forgive someone and also let them go (meaning really not wanting them back).
Yesterday was a gentle reminder. Our garage door opener is erratic, sometimes it obays the clicker and/or keypad and other times it just doesn't cooperate. I was getting ready to go for an evening jog, when XW pulls in the drive. She gets out of the car complaining loudly in frustration about the garage door opener not working. I'm just looking at her and shaking my head. Just an example of why it's so nice when she's not around.
So to me forgiveness is not entirely a black and white, all or nothing concept. I can let go of most resentments, but probably not all of them. I'll probably harbor just enough to keep the the door closed for a while, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, because it's perfectly normal to distrust a betrayer. Like I said to InPain in her thread, it's going to take a long goddamed time if ever. I am quite prepared for the "ever" and it is somewhat liberating and even exciting.
Do not fear whatever the future holds, 'cause you just don't know.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
