You need to get to a counselor, stat! Have you guys seen a MC?

Herb, I've been in your wife's shoes for something like 6-7 years as far as the feelings about my H looking at other women, cheating (I consider it emotional abuse, but it was never verbal or physical).

I don't know how I would feel after 20 years. It sounds like you need a mediator of some sort to step in and diffuse the situation.

Me: 33, H: 32
M: 12 years T: 13 years
No kids
D-Day: 7/2009
Separated: 10/12/10
Future Unknown
GITS

"There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark." - Adele