Cyrena, i always aim for the detachment as you describe it - breezy neighbor thing.... but I still backslide! I will start using that as a guideline for whether I will call him out on some behaviours.... if its not something I would get mad at a girlfriend for then I will zip my lips and let him be.
25, I know you better than believe that you would advocate saving a M at all costs! I think I will be able to judge if it is no longer salvageable, but the reason I am torn is because I know it still has a chance! But even if I think we are relatively calm, I guess what D12 indeed says is very telling.
H is not a monster; he is a depressed, guilty, conflicted person, whose choices are all wrong because of his messed up thought processes. He has enough of a good upbringing such that he tries to be a good father and does not want to break the family. But he is also selfish and immature and rebellious in his teenaged regression.
My insecurities are that:
1. There might be some truth in what he is saying - that our love never was that strong. He has a history of suppressing his feelings for me, and that may have come into play now.
2. He may never wake up from his MLC - his avoidant personality, his lack of insight are points against him.
3. I will have detached and suppressed my feelings so much that I will really and truly one day lose my love for him.
H lately seems more depressed than ever. The time for OW to go back to her home country is nearing - supposed to be thisOctober. I don't know if she managed to extend it, or if she passed her licensure exams for the US. I am guessing not.
H seems to be planning so many things to fill up his days this coming next few months that I am suspecting he knows he will be depressed. He has planned for us to go to NY on my Bday, which is a big surprise for me.... and then he plans to go hunting with a friend from our home country early in November. He also wants us to travel again (I hope we still can afford all this) in December.
He has been working so hard, has taken on a consultancy at my office aside from working his regular fulltime job. He comes and works with me and my boss around 2-3x a week, so he does have extra money. He seems to be obsessed with work, even working at home till midnight, as he can bill these hours to the company.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
