Standing for my live-in MLC'er/WAS

[angel61]

Thank you my dear friends for giving my situation a lot of thought. I really appreciate it.

Beatrice, your sitch really makes me think of how much investment in terms of time one has to make with a person in MLC. I have started explaining MLC to my daughter, as I think we are both in this together. She likes psychology anyway and spends quite some time reading about the subject on the internet. It helps make her realize that the craziness is more pathologic, and we can both laugh and bitch about it but still manage to have compassion for H and his foibles.

25, your post has made me really sit down and explore my D's feelings about this.

It was a surprise for me when she mentioned moving as before she had separation anxiety and also she is such a daddy's girl (you're right, Cyrena). What I am finding out is that she is getting affected by the drama of her friends in school. I let her know that moving to another school will just thrust her into different drama as this is associated with age and hormones.

There is no rush for me to make a decision at this point, although I have started the process of applying for the job that has been discussed with me by the company representative before. Its a big company so it will be months before interviews are done, etc. I told my D that she just keep an open mind about her friends, and since school is starting tomorrow, we'll see about how she feels. If its bad, there are other schools in the area. Although i woulld really like her to graduate in this school, its a private school and she's the top student in her class, moving to a different school might change her status. She is willing to do this, as she knows that logically, it is hard. I also have the feeling that she just wants me to keep our options open, and to show that I take her seriously enough to be willing to explore a major life change.

With regards to her relationship with her dad, as she grows older she sees how they are growing apart, how he met her basic needs for consistency and discipline and food and security in the past but how at this point, she is quickly outgrowing that and needing a more complex communication than what he can give, especially with his MLC brain. She says they never talk about anything of substance anyways. But she is still more loving with him, gives him more attention that me, in a wordless form of assurance. She senses his needs and tries to fulfill them in her own way, and it warms my heart to see her shed her teenage attitude that she has with me when she is with him. She goes back to being the little girl that Daddy always loved and cherished.

Ooops, I hear the garage door, my H is home so I will sign off and continue later....