So i finally bought a motorcycle!! I am shocked myself too. That was a big decision. I usually talk to dozen people, wife especially. contemplate, contemplate and then buy. This was impulsive. But it does feel good. I bought it used. Not bad for the price though.
That was yesterday and that was a high. So naturally today was low. I guess it is because i wanted to share that excitement with wife and daughter. Then reality hit me. Oh well, atleast i told my parents and they were excited for me.
Right now in a weird holding pattern with wife. With all the talk we had last week, i think in a way i excepted something positive. But now it just looks like whatever it was, just died down.
Back to my life and my activities!
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
so sorry for going AWOL over the weekend. I signed up for the motorcycle safety driving course that is mandatory to get the motorcycle license in texas. This course just about killed us. Not because it was tough. Because i opted for afternoon test drive. And right now in Texas, you do not wanna be out there in the afternoon
I got a used Suzuki GZ250. It is a 250cc cruiser. Starter bike. Very well maintained. Has only 1500 miles on it.
I am pretty sure i might not keep it for more than 3 years. So i figured why not get something affordable. I can still get on the highway. Right now in honeymoon stage...cleaning it and admiring it
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
Wife and I are trying to teach daughter some songs. I know more than wife so I try to make her repeat after me when we skype.
Last night she sang one fully on her own. I was very proud. Wife was very excited. She was asking me again and again how i felt. I told her that i felt very proud and that if i was there i would have hugged daughter. Then she started talking about her cousin's kids and how his wife teaches the kids. Then she started saying how she too tries to so stuff. I was just listening. Did not say anything. Then she said "yea i guess you would not understand. Gotta go now". I just said okay and hung up.
All this crazy drama. Now i see this drama. In the past i would have freaked out that wife was angry because of something i must have done. I could have called back begging her to tell me if i had done something wrong. She would have said that i did not respond to her comment. And then an argument would have broken out and W would have ended up telling me how i don't support her in anything. So funny. After years of going through this, i can predict the event unfolding down to even tiny details
Now i can see it. She just likes the drama. Why i don't know. She obviously felt insecure when comparing herself to her cousin's wife. She does this a lot and never once did i actually make her feel bad. Always told her a 'white' lie. But she always prolonged the drama.
When i see all this now, i don't know how i managed all those years. Now i see why i always had that crazy feeling that i always had to be on my guard of not upsetting her. It got so tiring after we had our daughter. I know that my weak emotional attitude also contributed heavily to all the craziness.
I know that she is upset after yesterday's convo. It did bother me a bit for a little while. But i brushed it off. I cannot be hanging onto every dysfunctional feeling of hers. Sounds harsh. But i gotta keep my sanity too...
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...
myk.....what can I say? You are doing fantastic. That ^^^^ is great.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
When i see all this now, i don't know how i managed all those years. Now i see why i always had that crazy feeling that i always had to be on my guard of not upsetting her.
I understand completely. Now that the blinds are off, you will never be able to put them back on. For stuff like ^^^ that is fantastic.
Now you get to love the both of you. And that my friend.. is good news!
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
. Seriously it is good to read.