OK, need some help here. The call about the mediator got me thinking. This D is about to take another large step forward. I have a feeling the discussion about assets, child support, etc is going to cause a considerable amount of tension for my wife. She makes a good living and has pretty much been the bread winner for the last 2 ˝ yrs. Not good for her in this circumstance.
I understand the whole concept of DB’ing. Here’s the issue: I am going to be fine even if this D goes through. I am GAL’ing, etc and plan to keep doing that irregardless. The real issue here is that I want to save my family. I think that possibility becomes less likely the more steps we take towards finalizing the D.
My W is the sweetest person I have ever met. She will one day regret how she is acting and what she is doing. I know this with absolute certainty. I am almost equally certain that our M issues could be resolved if we were both on board with trying to fix them.
I understand that following the DB plan to the letter, I should remain silent about the M. I should let her come to me. She is not right in the head at the current moment and I know that that is typical in these situations. I simply cannot see how it makes sense for me to let her walk off a cliff without challenging her at some point. I do not mean I am going to be the groveling, pathetic idiot I was when first told me she wanted a D. The doormat has been rolled up and put in the trash. I am talking about the new, confident and attractive me that wants to ask her direct questions about whether she is absolutely certain that she wants to proceed down this path.
Waiting for her to “snap out of it” may be a good strategy under “normal” circumstances. However, I am on the clock…we are in the D process. Asking her direct, rational questions may give her an easier way to back down rather than her having to take more of the initiative.
I have to challenge her at some point for all our sakes. I just don’t know what the best time is. Is it now? Is it the day before we go to mediation? Is it after she shows me a more direct sign of her wavering on her stance?
