Well, I've come to a place of acceptance that I probably never will totally understand my H's temporary insanity. The belief that understanding will give me control is an illusion.
What I do know is that my H went through hell too, even if much of it was of his own making. I'm not sincerely worried that he is likely, at moment...to go off the deep end and do this again. Not only do I think that he has learned quite a bit, but we both have had to do some real soul searching about what is really important in our lives.
It's ironic that the most devistating events have cause a turn-around in my R that I had prayed for for a long time, but had pretty much given up hope of.
I give up asking WHY, WHY, WHY...what difference does it really make now.
