He may be a very intelligent man (I have a gut feeling that he is - and I am mostly intellectual, so i don't have gut feelings often), but I think he is stunted in terms of emotional maturity.
Your gut instinct was indeed correct, Pysch. He's well educated (Masters Degree) and very intelligent. He's also very successful both professionally and financially but yes, he lacks emotional maturity at times (not always) and he himself has even admitted this to me.
Originally Posted By: Psych77
Maybe I am going out on a limb here, and maybe I am totally out in left field, but I think that he is terrified that all his drama might be coming true. I doubt that he was consciously being manipulative with all this, but I do think he was hoping to get a response, and this wasn't it!
And after my conversation with H last night, I think you are absolutely correct. Psych, you are so good at reading my H, it's scary.
Originally Posted By: Psych77
In short, I think that he is close to realizing that he wants to stay with you, and that if he does he will need to change. He might just be scared and confused enough at this time, seeing the failure of his previous tactics, to listen to what you say can change your relationship.
Yes, I "think" we are getting closer to this point.
Originally Posted By: Psych77
I know I have been pretty accurate about things that I said previously about your H, but please be warned, I know that I am really stretching this time. Look at all this critically, see if it rings true. Most importantly, see if his actions from here out fit with this interpretation.
Oh, it is ringing so true, my ears are hurting.
Originally Posted By: Psych77
Ever hear about the Chinese character for the word "crisis?" It is a combination of the characters for "danger" and "opportunity." Of course I can't say for sure, but I certainly hope that, somehow, this crisis turns out to be the opportunity for things to really change, in ways they could never have done without things getting this bad.
This has been something that has crossed my mind many times during this journey because even I felt "stuck". I think you're right again, this crisis might have been just what we needed to turn things around. Although, it could have been slightly less dramatic in my opinion.
Again, thanks so very much for your support, (((Psych))). Your ability to understand my H has been truly astounding. Sometimes I just sit here and stare at the computer completely stunned as I read your posts because I can't believe how good you are at understanding my H. It's like you've met him!
I'm so glad I joined this board because I've never felt comfortable, especially in recent years, with sharing my marital problems with more than one friend. It's amazing what other perspectives can do for you when they are given by those with similar goals. I'm very grateful for the time that you, jb and the others have given my sitch. ((())))
