Thought it would be done by now...part 2

[25yearsmlc]

THanks for stopping. Yes, there is sickening clarity.

He did stand me up last time. He has been out of the house for 6months and NC with kids and me for approx 3 months.

Well then what has been going on for a "year"? What was the last contact with the kids like? Has there been physical in person contact?


But, then why all the remorse, etc. I guess I don't need to worry about why! RIght.

True, you do not need to know why he feels remorse (your hope is that it means he is 5 minutes from reconciling...you are NOT done with him are you? That's fine, but be honest...)

FWIW, I don't think HE knows why he does what he does, and therefore your efforts at understanding his actions and words, are going to be fruitless. Besides, is there a reason in the galaxy that would actually help you find solace and peace and to "get this"? I don't think so, except maybe a brain tumor...

He is the one to want to meet this time. THe only I advantage I see is that I get to tell him how I really feel about all of this. Maybe not a good idea?

Do you even KNOW how you feel? And fyi, IF you meet with him AND IF the R comes up, whatever you say will be tuned out if you speak in more than one paragraph. He'll tune out, or hear only what he fears...or only what he wants to hear. he'll be incredibly defensive. You'd have to be so brief (for clarity sake) I'm not sure you can. You are understandably bewildered and furious so it'd be hard not to unload...


I also feel like if those tears were any bit of hope-the papers will just crush all of it.
I know I sound wishy washy. It has been a hard week once again.

Tell me how filing will crush his hopes. I know he's extremely fragile, but do you see how that works FOR him too?

I'm not arguing it won't crush his hopes but I don't know what his hopes are...we only know what he DOES and does NOT do..(like come home and join AA)

I want to understand exactly what you fear here...and what you are willing to risk (for your kids too)

and for how long.

I concede that HIS asking for the meeting is new...but did you ever get an apology or explanation for his standing you up? And what did he say he wanted to discuss, specifically?