I am not looking forward to being alone. I need a woman in my life. I need companionship. I have pretty much come to grips with the fact that my wife is gone. I hope she comes back to me, but I see no indication that that is going to happen. She is so bitter and hateful towards me. I plan to stay on the DB path though, trying to keep hope.
I have started opening myself up to meeting new women. I don’t want to and will not cheat on my wife. I realize that there is a fine line. I have spent months being upset at her for having and EA that she still will not acknowledge. That was then and this is now. We are pursuing D against my will and in my mind, the rules have changed.
The thought of having friendships with OW brings me comfort and helps me detach from my W. I have started perusing online dating sites. I haven’t contacted anyone, but it helps me to see that there is potential out there. I hate to think that I will have to start barhopping to meet women. Been there, done that. It has its upside but I’m 40…..turning into the dirty old man at the bar.
This week has been pretty productive and it is going more smoothly than I had hoped. It is very quiet in the house and I miss my family dearly but I am finding things to occupy my time. I worked out for 2 hours yesterday and plan to do so again today. My interview went very well yesterday and they have already set up a second interview. Still not sure I want the job but it is good for my confidence….still trying to get that back into shape.
