"W, I said in that email that I am not dating this woman. I made the decision to stop even hanging out with her because I am not ready and because I didn't feel right about it. And you should also know that this is someone who I hadn't spoken to in 9 years before I ran into her at my h.s. reunion.
I honestly don't know why you are so angry or so surprised W that I would open myself up to moving forward with my life and consider dating after 9 months of doing everything that I possibly can to show you that the only person in the world I ever want is YOU... only to be told that I am not wanted in return.
I've said it a million times W, but I will say it one more time... I WANT to be MARRIED to YOU... and ONLY YOU. I don't ever want to spend another second with any other woman. EVER. You are the love of my life, I want to spend the next 30-40 years making wonderful memories with you, and I want to grow old with you. I never want to let stress, work, or anything else in my life come between us again. I have dedicated my life over the past 9 months to learning where I messed up and how WE can make things between us great.
But what I want means nothing unless you want the same thing. And I cannot continue to live like I have for the past 6 months. I will not share you and I will not live in an open marriage. What you want me to do is too painful and unhealthy for me. You have been very clear about what you want for your life through both words and actions. I cannot make decisions for myself based on anything but those words and actions. I need to begin moving forward with my life."
Denver,
This is by far the best communication you have had with your W that I have seen.
You kept your cool and more importantly your LOVE for your W drove the choice of your words........
BRAVO !!!!!!
Remember what MWD says....sorry I do not have the page number....
"It is the smallest consistent actions that get noticed the most."
Remember to give this its proper time to work.......
You may have to say what you said up there 10 more times before it sinks in.
You are watching out for your feelings while at the same TIME you are communicating with your W in a firm but LOVING way.
I absolutely think you did the right thing by not going to the concert, and you even said why........you did not leave your actions open to interpretations by her.
Keep yourself centered, there will be more tests to come......
don't read any malice into her words.......she does LOVE you and she does MISS you. If she did not she would not be so upset and angry with you.
Can't have Anger without Love........if she did not care she would not be angry.
This approach did not work for her so she may try a softer approach next.......that will be even harder for you. Be prepared, send the same message over and over and she will hear it eventually.
Sorry, yesterday was hard......that day is behind you......what is on your plate today?
Still would like to hear more about YOU.....
What do you want in your life???
Is it to hike Mt. Everest??
Jump out of a plane? (with a parachute )
Run a marathon??
Meet the Dalai Lama???
Start to tell us what YOUR dreams are, what are your goals in life, what are your aspirations???
Hope this helps.
Cheers
PS: You're doing good!!!!
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
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