Living in the trenches....Thread #5

[Navyguy]

I had my last IC with my current counselor last night. Pretty much ended on a note of "I hope things work out for you but I also hope that if they don't you do what you need to do to take care of yourself". I told her that I will...I'm just not at my breaking point yet.

Things have still been pretty rough at home. W is still sick and having lots of back pain. She continues to be distant and difficult to talk to at times.

Last night she was standing in the kitchen holding some Tiger Balm that she was going to put on her back. I asked if she wanted me to put it on for her. She said sure, so I did. When I put it on I commented on how skinny she was - she hasn't eaten anything but crackers for a week because of her stomach bug - she replied with "except for my love handles". I told her I like her love handles.

Then we watched TV for a couple hours. When I got up to go to bed I walked past her and touched her shoulder and told her "feel better, ok?" She didn't respond. I don't know if she was upset that I touched her or what, but I went to bed.

This is so confusing. One minute it's ok to rub her entire back, and the next I get the cold shoulder because I touch her shoulder with my finger.

I wish I had more news for everyone...I know my story is getting pretty monotonous here.