Just discovered affair please help

[InAPickle]

Sorry about what you're going through IP.
I know exactly how you feel.
Knowing what I know, I don't want to be near her.
I don't want her to even touch me.
Sometimes I want to have my own PA just to even the score.

But at least your H is not like my XW.
At least he appears to want to save the M.
At least he seems to value it.
Now he needs to respect you.
Infidelity is a manifestation of gross disrespect.
Make him realize that.

Name your conditions.
Sounds like you need time and healing.
And the time to heal. It's gonna take some time.
You need to let him know it's going to take time to earn your trust - that is if he really wants it.

He probably has no idea what this has done to you.
No one can imagine what it is like to be cheated on.
Ask him if he's prepared to have the A thrown in his face in some future argument in a fit of anger.
Tell him things aren't going to be the way they were.
Past innocence, trust, our perceptions of each other, are all lost.

Is he willing to sacrifice the time and make the effort?
Healing can occur, and a new and better M can be forged from these ashes.
You hold the cards, and you get to decide whether or not to give him the chance.

I know these times are painful and difficult, but look at me. I was given no chance, no opportunity, not even a glimmer of hope, just totally blindsided. Think long and hard about just how important this M is to you IP. Take all the time you need.

Prayers
Pic