I spent so much time alone as a kid, then lost both my parents at 16. Struggled a lot with intimacy and wanting to be close, but then fearing closeness. Had a very steady boyfriend in HS and his family was good to me. I burned that R in college.
Then was very VERY single and ALONE for many years....until I hooked up with H quite by accident. We had been in the same circle of friends for 5 years. Began hanging out and then married. I held him at arms length for years. Then in 2005 I discovered he was having an on-line A and he was wanting to meet up with her. I KNEW I needed to change and so I began to close the distance and finally allow myself to be intimate and IN LOVE with him!
THEN he had the real life A.
Painful as it all is, we are happier with each other, more connected now. I hurt about the A still.....sometimes overwhelmingly and then sometimes not. I do hope we will grow and change so that what it (A) feels and looks like now will become unrecognizable....and eventually not worth a thought.
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
