Reflection

[GAL Man]

Journaling (a few parts, updates on what's been going on and where I am)

Part 1


Haven't posted for a few days as needed to have some time to me

Loads of communication back and forth last week with W, text and email, which I found mentally draining!

Communications have been a result of the kids, and them wanting to stay with me more. W took this as ME trying to get to her. The emails on Wednesday last week from W were very angry, and using them as an opportunity to have a go.

We had some frank exchanges, however........

my responses (NOT REACTIONS) to all the emails have been constructive and "professional" at all times. I have lost count of the amount of times I have put in big red bold writing that this is what the kids want, and that I am happy with week each.

Friday I sent W an email asking for the child benefit to be changed into my name as I am now the main carer and having them 10 days out of 14.

W sent a short reply, so it begins your quest for full custody. I replied with a short email, saying NO, this is not what I, her or the kids want, again in big bold writing, then another reply saying she will speak to Solicitors, and finishing with a threat to inform the CSA!

From last Monday I have told the W I will only communicate in writing

After the email exchange W called (I didn't answer)

W called again, left an angry VM message, saying that if I have the child benefit then she would not be able to afford her rent (child benefit is for the kids from the Government) and that as her name is still on the mortgage she would consider moving back home and basically creating hell.

So I called W back and we had a lengthy conversation, and I THOUGHT (come on to this later) she finally got the point that I have actually been trying to get the kids to see her more and this isn't from me. W even starts crying and saying don't take my kids away from me, which I replied that I wouldn't do that.

I said I would just have S12's benefit, and she could keep D14's (D14s is more) for the time being, then W asked for me to transfer the cash back to her monthly!!!!

W then called again an hour later (I didn't answer) to say lets be adults, then told me about her work and that she would be in the car for a while and give her a call if I wanted.

I emailed W summarising the points discussed and sent her a text saying that I didn't want to speak to her, and that everything had been said which I had to say in our conversation and in my email.

I have found that this is now how W communicates:

1)       Angry reaction
2)       Response with threats
3)       Nicer